so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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