No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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