Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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