I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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