apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
