is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
