my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
