I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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