We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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