she was so not down for the gang bang
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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