I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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