the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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