This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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