Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
