So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
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I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
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"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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