eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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