The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
