had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
