I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
it's like heaven, but drunker
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That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
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Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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