Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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