Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
