I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
