I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize