you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
