he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize