he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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