she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
