so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
