please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
