dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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