The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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