'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
