community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
