Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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