Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
