so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
