guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
there is glitter all over my balls
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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