Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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