There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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