the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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