Sponge bath it is.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
