OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
There are leaves in my underwear?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
