Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
