i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
