walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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