It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
