So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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