Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
zippers are such a cool invention
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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