And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
