dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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