you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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