apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
