id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
