its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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