You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Randomize
